Spirit Specialist Gifts

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Unguided imagery

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"All the celebrities come here."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"Your husband says BOO!"