Spirit Specialist T-Shirts

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Unguided imagery

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

"All the celebrities come here."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."