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Ouija board speaks recorded options

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

"Your '94 Nissan wants you to know she's fine."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Other than a flair for the Ouija board, what managerial qualities do you offer?'

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"You CAN be an effective haunter - we just need to unlock your potential!"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"I'll check and see if he's available."

A voodoo doctor.

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

"He thinks it's important to communicate with his plants."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."