Spiritual Investigator Gifts

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Unguided imagery

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

"Did you have a cat?"