Spirited Diner Gifts

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"For drinks or dinner?"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Zagat Rated.

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"It's made with real angel hair."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'