Spiritual Diner Gifts

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

"For drinks or dinner?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"A votre sante!"

Zagat Rated.

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"It's made with real angel hair."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Just a drop."

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

'Meat loaf again!'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!