Spiritual Diner Pillows

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"For drinks or dinner?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'How would you like your toast?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"A votre sante!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Zagat Rated.

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Just a drop."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

A train's dining car is a diner.

"It's made with real angel hair."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'Meat loaf again!'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!