Spider Slyboots Gifts

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Dinner at the Trapdoors

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

Spider Web Stocking

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

OMG UR HOT

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

"Are those my slippers?!"

Want the wings as an appetizer?

'Are we there yet?'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Spider's Web Trampoline

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'I want you to bring me one.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

Spider Press-Ups

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

Child's slipper getting caught in a mousetrap.

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'