Spider Squad Gifts

'You ever get that feeling that there's something in your hair?'

The Amazing Man-Spider

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

OMG UR HOT

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'I want you to bring me one.'

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Spider Web Stocking

Spider's Web Trampoline

'Are we there yet?'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

"Arachnophunnies"

Spider watching his web cam.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'