Spider Avoiders Gifts

Yeah, there are spiders in here, but … wait, are you going around?

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

OMG UR HOT

Spider's Web Trampoline

Want the wings as an appetizer?

'I want you to bring me one.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Are we there yet?'

Spider Web Stocking

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'I'm just surfing the web.'

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

A spider meal prepping

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

"Arachnophunnies"

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'