Speech Recognition Buff Gifts

"Look, Howard, this phone has speech recognition just like you do, but it's much more intuitive!"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Changing Minds

The Gettysburg Address in process.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

MLK

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Jerry Brown.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

1874 - Winston Churchill was born at Blenheim palace

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Dove of Peace and Free Speech

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

William Pitt the Elder

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'