Speech Recognition Gifts

'Now he'll learn to spealie Bill Gates.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

The Cost of Censoring Free Speech.

A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.

Press freedom makes democracy.

Batman - Face ID

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Oscars 2024

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

'We're here to talk to your son about his website...'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

'Just my luck, a talking dog with a stutter.'

"Don't repeat this."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Is Wikileaks' release of hacked government information protected by freedom of speech?"

'What a great leader! That's the best 'spend now, tax later' speech I've ever heard!'

Henry trained himself in the 'dramatic pause'.

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

'You mean to ssssay we have sssspeach imedimentssss?'

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

Lincoln's Gettysburg URL Address

"Whatever happened to freedom of the press?"

A silenced protester

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".