Voice Recognition Critic Gifts

'I am not lying! This is a real live person speaking!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Focus Groupies

Covid Podium

"I'm composing a song for the new administration. It's entitled, 'Hell to the chief'."

Insight/Incite

'Uou have a great image. Don't spoil it by speaking.'

Simon Owl - That hoot was ghastly!

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

How is it going with your voice-controlled, self-driving car? We aren't communicating very well. I said I "need to go fast" and it took me to a calorie-restricting diet center. It's very frustrating! Back there I shouldn't have added "This car is driving me up a wall."

Trump reads his visions for America while sticking the GOP with the bill.

'I don't know which is worse... talk radio or talk wife.'

"They're voice-activated. I bark, they jump."

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Well, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

'I have nothing against you being helium. It's your voice, Steven. Your squeaky, high voice!'

"Do you think that social media is dumbing-down the art of conversation?"

At 100 years old, Ceil pretty much spoke her mind...

"I'm sorry, you were talking about people I don't know doing things I'll never care about, blah, blah, blah. Go ahead — I'm listening."

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

Hello, are you worried about free speech?

Who is the biggest air polluter on earth?

"It's the first time she's heard a President finish a sentence."

State of the Union Recap

'No, you being from overseas wouldn't stop me going on a date with you...Whoa!! But that would! Quite a high voice for a guy.'

"Brass band and bagpipes have their place. Outdoors and 10 miles away!"

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee every morning... but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

An Adam's Melon