Speech Aficionado Gifts

The speech was almost interesting. People began to sit up and fake interest.

"That's an excellent prescreened question, but before I give you my stock answer I'd like to try to disarm everyone with a carefully rehearsed joke."

"Great speech, general. Poor choice of uniform."

"And now I'll open up the floor to softballs."

'Give me liberty or give me death!'

Ed Miliband - Leader of the Labour Party.

'Our next speaker won't bore you with a long speech. He can do it with a short one...'

"I like him. He sounds authentic."

"What a wonderful concession speech - we should have voted for him after all."

A good speech is always shorter than you audience's attention span.

. . . and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from this earth.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Political Debates

'Let's see now, if one score equals twenty years...'

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

'You have echolalia — it's very common among politicians.'

Dog says, "I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word, 'speak'."

"O.K., but change 'Her tawny body glistened beneath the azure sky' to 'National problems demand national solutions.' "

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"Friends, Romans, countrymen..."

Tucson speech

Obama giving his State of the Union.

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

And it goes without saying that...

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

Jimmy Hoffa Jr. performing 'collective blathering' when He implores the crowd to 'take these sons of bitches out'

'And finally,the award for most nauseating acceptance speech goes to...'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

A big dog at lectern.

"Hey, empty promises are better than no promises at all!"

"It may be 'politically incorrect' to say this, but I believe 'politically incorrect' will become the new 'politically correct.'"

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

"I lead by presenting bold and challenging ideas that confirm their views."

"I owe everything I have today to my parents, my wife, and the bank."

Politician polishing his tongue.