Speech Enthusiasts Gifts

'Saul Werman, Attorney at Law... I got a call from someone in need of 'wegal wepwesentation?''

"The doctor says my hearing's fine, but he wants to check out your mumble."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

Changing Minds

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

MLK

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

William Pitt the Elder

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

1874 - Winston Churchill was born at Blenheim palace

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

Time for speeches