Speech Lovers Gifts

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Campaign for Plain English

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

Changing Minds

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

MLK

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Shell Fire

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'They speak fish!'