Speech-giving Aficionado Gifts

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Inclusive speech

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

What's normal?

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Changing Minds

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

William Pitt the Elder