Speech-giver With Flair Gifts

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

Dialogue

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

Time for speeches

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

William Pitt the Elder

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

'Hey, I voted for the big tax hike because suffering builds character!'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

". . . and in the immortal words of the man on our nameplate, 'In this world, nothing is certain but death.'"