Young Speechmaker Gifts

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

"The White House Washington"

Masters of Political Oratory

Time for speeches

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'...and on that you have my word.'

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'