Young Speechmaker T-Shirts

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"The White House Washington"

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Time for speeches

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."