Soccer Season Start Gifts

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Football Fans

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Funky Facts: Football.

Football

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."