Sports Season Start Gifts

"Okay everyone come and get your helmets and pads - players' sizes on the left, parents' on the right."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

1956: Sid Figgis turns up wearing last seasons' scarf.

'It's exciting and you make a lot of money, but if you don't win, they flush you down the toilet. Welcome to the pros, kid.'

'We're in a hurry.'

'Don't panic! Remain perfectly still. Do not make eye contact. If he attacks, curl into a fetal position and play dead.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Man, he pulled that one out of thin air!"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Kenny Dalglish

Hockey Season.

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Input From The Front Office

Man transplants plant in his garden.

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

American Football.