Football Season Opener Gifts

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

J. Hitter RIP - At least you made Sportscenters top ten hits.

Bowled over again!

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Perils of the double play.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

Kenny Dalglish

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Input From The Front Office

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'Champions league'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Ok, team it's a tie. We're going into overtime. First score wins the game! Let's see your fiercest game faces! That's it! My sudden death panel!

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'