Football Season Opening Gifts

'Can I have my quarterback now?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Perils of the double play.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Input From The Front Office

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Champions league'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.