Football Season Opening Gifts

'Can I have my quarterback now?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Bowled over again!

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Perils of the double play.

Kenny Dalglish

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Input From The Front Office

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Man transplants plant in his garden.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'Champions league'

Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Ok, team it's a tie. We're going into overtime. First score wins the game! Let's see your fiercest game faces! That's it! My sudden death panel!

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

Football is like investing. It's good to have a diversified portfolio. A team should use a balanced mix of run plays and pass plays. And sometimes the quarterback is smart to accept a sack rather than trying something too risky. Right. Take the small loss and move on. A defensive player getting a finger on a pass can have a big impact. In both football and investing a tip can be a real game changer. But some things are different. Football has nothing like a T-Bill. There are no guarant