Soccer Season Gifts

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

Soccer Uniforms

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Football Fans

Fly Football

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."