Smoking Commentator Gifts

J. Smith: Passive Smoker

'Somebody arrest that p****rt!!' 'Sorry...she doesn't understand that's still legal.' 'If she understood how to tax it...she would be a politician.'

'Bertie, you promised!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

Give up Smoking!

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

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'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"We were thinking, J.W., just off the top of our heads, of course—why not make the stuff addictive?"

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

No Goldfishing. A-hem!

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

'Aren't we entitled to a ten minute smoking break?'

"Sorry, sir, our smoking section is out in the parking lot. We'll be happy to serve you out there."

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

Snowman

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'