Smoking Critic Gifts

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

Thanks for Smoking

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

The Marlboro Man facing his secondhand smokers.

Death stocks a cigarette vending machine.

'Why would anybody want to smoke this stuff?'

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

'Bad news. THe only way Government will allow us to offset the new graphic images with a smiley face is if it's on a respirator.'

Smoker

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'We need a birth ban, too, because every life ends fatally!'

"Well your results would be normal if you were 108 and smoked 60 a day!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

Pollution Look

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

'Excuse me,sir-those wouldn't happen to be your cigarette butts,would they?'

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

Give up Smoking!

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

"They're infantilizing us!"

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

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'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

'Smoking or non-smoking?'