Smoking Satirist Gifts

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?"

'The New World will be easy to conquer, Your Majesty -- they're all hooked on tobacco.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"Of course it's a crafty fag - I'm a fox for christ's sake."

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

Animals smoking at the zoo back entrance

"Can't raise taxes - so how will we pay for everything?"

'I don't WANT to be flagpole sitting. It's the only place they let me smoke!'

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

Warning: Quitting smoking will greatly reduce your chances of getting a piece of the settlement pie.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Just trying to make an honest buck.

'I didn't know he was a smoker.'

"I'm down to five a day with this new brand."

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

'We prefer that you not smoke that in here...'

"I don't understand why the Chief made us come outside for our smoking break."

Smoking Section in the Cemetery.

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

"Nah, he's not a viper - he's a vaper!"

"No, he's not a viper - he's a vaper!"

Designated Smoking Area

Looks like you're gonna have to finish that out here, Rupert.

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

"He thinks he's so clever, sucking on breath mints and wearing cologne, but he's not fooling me, I can smell he's still smoking in secret..."

Lemonade 50 cents - Smokers Welcome!

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

"Maybe we shouldn't line her cage with newspaper."

"It can't hurt us. We're cockroaches."

Break Area: Smoking and Chocolate.

No Smoking Sign - Mercury dips further

'You may think smoking is cool now, but when you start huffing and puffing and you're not even trying to blow a pig's house in...'

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...