Satirical Smoker Gifts

You should at least think about using a nicotine patch!

"I just needed to get some fresh air."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

'Which dog is named 'BOGART'?'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

Identity Parade - Smoker.

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

Snatching Failure from the Jaws of Success

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

If they ban smoking in cars...

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

Snowman

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.