Tobacco Satirist Gifts

"I'll have 20 'Causes strokes and disability' and 20 'Can lead to impotence.'"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

Warning.

'Aren't we entitled to a ten minute smoking break?'

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

If they ban smoking in cars...

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

Snowman