Pipe Smoking Satirist Gifts

Snowman

'Do you mind!!?'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

'Which dog is named 'BOGART'?'

"The dog wants out again!"

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

Snowman with 'No Smoking' sign.

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

igloo smoking zone...

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

Snatching Failure from the Jaws of Success

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

Hell's Smoking Section

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

If they ban smoking in cars...

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."