Smoky Satirist Gifts

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'Secondhand smoke.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Woman uses birds to help her believe she has lost weight.

'Dracula watches his first late night horror show.'

Snatching Failure from the Jaws of Success

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

All Organic Pork: "Naturally smoked bacon my ass."

"We've got kind of a noir thing happening here, Manny. The girlie cigarette doesn't exactly add."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

"They said we need a photo ID to prove we're from the neighborhood."

Snowman

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

If they ban smoking in cars...