Cigarette Critics Gifts

'I feel stressed, one cigarette won't hurt.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

Pollution Look

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

'Excuse me,sir-those wouldn't happen to be your cigarette butts,would they?'

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

Give up Smoking!

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"They're infantilizing us!"

Man in pub reads book: The Joy of Cigs.

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

Warning.

"Well, thanks for the box of raisins, but we can't promise you a very good Trick or Treat rating on Yelp."

What? Why the heck not?

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

'I represent a broad-based coalition of anti-pipe interests....'

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

"I'll keep thinking inside the box as long as they let me smoke in the box."

Don't you puff your vape at me

'Ready, set,...'

Death stocks a cigarette vending machine.

'Of course these lighters doesn't work. They're especially made for non-smokers!'

Lighting it will kill you.

"I'm concerned about the kids diet."

"You're too young to be smoking!"

Smoking

The Devil has the best Tunes. Jesus says: 'Oooh, cherry menthol flavour.'

Thanks for Smoking