Slice Snob Gifts

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I make it myself!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Listen, just because he's moving from fiction to literature doesn't mean he's better than us.

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

Wine tasting

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"House red, sir?"

'Oh man, every time.'

The book is so much better than the film..

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"I had no idea Dom Perignon came with a screw top."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

Prosecco Drinker

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"YouTube's one thing, but cats will never make it on the big screen."

"It's an unpretentious little wine!"

"I used to write page-turners, but my MFA cured me of that."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"