Cinematic Snob Gifts

'Personally, I thought it stunk!'

"Ths is supposed to be a pretty exciting movie."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Listen, just because he's moving from fiction to literature doesn't mean he's better than us.

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

'Oh man, every time.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

The book is so much better than the film..

'A sandwich?'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"So this is fun---the artist is actually with us tonight."

"I used to write page-turners, but my MFA cured me of that."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"YouTube's one thing, but cats will never make it on the big screen."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

Listen, just because he's moving from "fiction" to "literature" doesn't mean he's better than us.

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

"It's one of my early works from before I could afford paint."

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."