Film Snob Gifts

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

'Wow! That's probably the best Kyrgyzstani neo-realist horror-comedy crossover I've seen so far this year.'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

Listen, just because he's moving from fiction to literature doesn't mean he's better than us.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

'Oh man, every time.'

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

'Not quite the effect I was going for.'

"So this is fun---the artist is actually with us tonight."

"YouTube's one thing, but cats will never make it on the big screen."

Oliver Reed-Twist: 'I'll arm wrestle you for some more.'

'What kind of music would you like? Korean classical or Death Metal?'

"It's one of my early works from before I could afford paint."

"You've hung this picture upside down!!"

For Sale - The rights to my story.

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

Darth Vader looks forward to the weekend