Movie Snob Gifts

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Pink Bantha

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"Don't go in there!!"

Hollywood Breakup

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Listen, just because he's moving from fiction to literature doesn't mean he's better than us.

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Luke Sleepwalker...

A typical Monday. Zombie truck driving maniacs! South Pole penguin love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent, zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

The Very Bad Plot of a Very Bad Ecological Thriller

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Al, have you ever seen the movie "Harvey"? That rabbit was imaginary, but you must believe me: my wolverine is real!

"All my life is passing before me - including the deleted scenes..."

"So Mr Bond, we meet again."

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'