Theater Snob Gifts

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Mikado

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Cossack dancers

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Actor practising his indian war crys

Listen, just because he's moving from fiction to literature doesn't mean he's better than us.

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

Mr. Punch's Illustrations to Shakspeare

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

The book is so much better than the film..

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'Oh man, every time.'

World Championship Mime-Off -'HEYYY! He's in a REAL box!!'

The Man of La Mancha,and his sidekick, the Man of La Muncha.

"Oh, Romeo, Romeo, I thought you said eight."

"YouTube's one thing, but cats will never make it on the big screen."

"I used to write page-turners, but my MFA cured me of that."

"So this is fun---the artist is actually with us tonight."

Upstart Crow

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

'I'm sorry Donny...I can't get you any work. The studio says you're just too much of a stereotype.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

Eugene O'Neill.

The Harold Pinter theatre...

William Shakespeare

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."