Slice Savvy Pal Gifts

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

Two lemons enjoying some reading time together in their 'Home Sour Home'.

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

Pizza Fencing

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

Go large or go home!

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

Protesting Pineapple Pizza

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

'It's commendable that you only ate one slice of pizza, but when you're only cutting it in half...'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

"Nasty slice you have but now we're on this course, we may as well switch to it."

"Actually, our cafeteria isn't that bad. Whenever they serve chicken strips or pizza, it's a good day!"

"Salamelier"

"Did we mention that we spent last summer in Maine?"

Common golf Problems: 'Worst slice I have ever seen!'

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

Kenwood Park

"We want two pizzas, in small, nonconsecutive slices."

'The food's pretty bad here, but we make up for it with especially large portions.'

'We need to work on that slice of yours.'

"I'm back. I couldn't make it as a New York slice."

"That commemorates the best slice in midtown."

'Just cut it fiveways,please - He'll never manage to eat eight slices!'