Slice Enthusiast Gifts

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

Frankenfish

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

List making as therapy.

Loyd Grossman

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

'Crowd Source'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'According to this list, this list is ranked #4 on the greatest lists of all time.'

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

To do list

"Our state made the list for being on the most lists."

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

Haircuts

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

Pizza Fencing

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"I wanted to eat like the French... so I am having a burger with bearnaise sauce."

"You've signed my book in tomato sauce..."

Dueling marionettes.

Protesting Pineapple Pizza

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

"No, Mr Cummings, I haven`t dealt with the accounts file yet. I`m getting to it as quickly as I can."

'Actually, writing lists of the top ten things I do at work, is one of the top ten things I do at work'

'It's wha-at all we cool guys wear - steak sauce.'