Slice Strategist Gifts

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

"We'll slice through this area here, then divide it into sections."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'How about a game of cards?'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Mayo-A-Mayo

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

Sidewalk the game

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

Pizza Fencing

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

Chess Chef

'I'm sending you to Joliet for 15 years to think about what you did.'

'You and your shortcuts.'

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

Woman emptying 'pending' work into bin as 5pm approaches on Friday.

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'And remember, no layaways, personal checks or terrorizing the villagers.'

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

"Baldo, you will never flip off people on the highway again...do you hear me?"

S.A.S. Plan of Attack

"Nasty slice you have but now we're on this course, we may as well switch to it."

'Those of you who regard a tonsillectomy as a minor procedure...'

"What'll it be, Mrs. Waltham - stolid workmanship or nervy brilliance?"

"So we're agreed - a bold and more exciting box with a slightly worse update product. I'd call that a meeting well spent!"

Common golf Problems: 'Worst slice I have ever seen!'