Slimming Strategist Gifts

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

Fries and kids

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

Bored Baker

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

Sly Fox

'The classic pinstripe with construction boots delivers the authoritative butt-kicking power needed for Monday morning meetings.'

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'You and your shortcuts.'

"Jake, please hold my calls and fetch my Cheetos gloves."

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

Woman emptying 'pending' work into bin as 5pm approaches on Friday.

'Good news for people who hide their money under the mattress.'

"If your insurance doesn't cover it, there's always the lottery."

"Is the drug that you are prescribing available as a generic, so I can save some money, or at the very least, available from a pharmaceutical company that I own shares in, so that I can make some money?"

A fridge surrounded by books.

'On the positive side, just think how small the mortgage payments will be.'

“At this point, your only chance is to threaten him with legal action.”

'I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months. It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without.'

'Did you notice how he was suddenly interested in our sales pitch when I mentioned a substantial bribe?'

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

Reading on the sly.