Slimming Gifts

POOR CHAP WAS CONCENTRATING ON HIS 'I CAN MAKE YOU THIN' CD WHEN THE TRUCK SQUASHED HIM FLAT

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

Christmas Group Therapy.

"I figured one of us should use it!"

'Take comfort in the knowledge that better men than you have far worse inferiority complexes.'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

'My therapist says I've developed a cult of personality disorder.'

A fridge surrounded by books.

'Do you have any chocolate flavoured ones...?'

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"

Shortfuse psychology...making anger work for you!

National Slimming Championships.

I gain weight every fall and then lose it in the spring. I have a seasonally adjusted figure.

Slimming World

Diet Foods: Bread and Water

"Now ladies, I hope none of you have been cheating."

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

'Why that's ridiculous! You have lots of useless years left in you!'

On her doctor's order, Wanda watches how she eats.

'Gee! Your diet's beginning to work!'

Weight watchers 'Gone for low-calorie lunch'.

Weight Loss Clinic: 'We help those who help themselves over and over and over again.'

'My trick for looking slimmer is to only have friends who are fatter than me - not you, of course...'

'Well done Mrs Fogherty. That's another three pounds you've lost this week, that will be three pounds please.'

"I'm havin' a lotta trouble gettin' reality to agree with me."