Sketch Comedy Fan Gifts

'Mister Dulaney, I warned you not to move or breath!'

"Yes, the force is certainly changing."

Passenger offering busman a cigar

"What's new? I just discovered fire, the wheel, and the campaign promise in a single day!"

'The following programme contains scenes and sketches which may have become unwatchable due to repetition.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Paging for a Doctor

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

'How about a nice saloon?'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

'This guy is really good!'

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Finally, after years of disappointment, Terry Who got to live our his 'Abbott and Costello' moment.

'Yes Sir, I am at this very minute passing on your recommendations for staff wage cuts to the appropriate department'

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

"You have one, two, three months to live."

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"Hold on a second there, Roger; Ken's raised some very good points."

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses