Sketch Comedy Lover Gifts

"You don't need the scythe anymore. The hoodie scares them to death."

John Cleese

Rowan Atkinson

Finally, after years of disappointment, Terry Who got to live our his 'Abbott and Costello' moment.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

John Cleese.

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

Bob Odenkirk

Manhattan Woods

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

Steadman - The Early Years.