Sketch Comedy Lover Gifts

"You don't need the scythe anymore. The hoodie scares them to death."

John Cleese

Finally, after years of disappointment, Terry Who got to live our his 'Abbott and Costello' moment.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

'How about a nice saloon?'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Manhattan Woods

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

"If 'Slothra' takes any longer climbing to the top I'll have to land and refuel again."

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

"You have one, two, three months to live."