Comedy Sketches Fan Gifts

'Harry's living in the past.'

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

Zombie standup

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Paging for a Doctor

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

'How about a nice saloon?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

Optometrist Humor

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"