Skating Satirist Gifts

Hockey Pairs Skaters.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Secondhand smoke.'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Racketeer

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

Box.