Snowy Satirist Gifts

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

"Let's call it a day before we get frostbite."

Snowman Liposuction.

Snowprov

The rocket powered skiier

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Rude Snowpeople

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'It's easy, just wee!'

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

Snowman Driver

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

It's a bit derivative.

"Did you get some work done?"

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

The Itchy Back

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"