Skiing Satirist Gifts

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

Agricultural Skier

Porters carry a sedan chair up a ski slope

'Mr. Murdoch... skiing isn't for everyone.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

The rocket powered skiier

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

Rude Snowpeople

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"Please, God, help me get up, that's all I ask... I'll go right to church..."

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

"Whoa. How deep is that powder?" "You'll have to ask my wife. I'm standing on her shoulders."

Skier leaves his skis behind.

Sorry, pal, no - there's no rest stop for the wicked.

T-Rex Ski Jump Fail

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

The real reason the Chinese emperor built the great wall.

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

Self-Propelled Skating Gadget

You'll never believe what that house is for.

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

Hockey Pairs Skaters.

Snowman Liposuction.

"It needs a bit of work."

"Let's call it a day before we get frostbite."

Surfing the Brown Water.

'Careful with that shotgun, it could go off.' - 'Don't worry, I'm covering the trigger with my finger.'

'Once you've got this mastered, Ellen, then you can try it on two.'

Rejected Olympic Sports

"I think he could be the real thing - he's walking on the water!"

'The dominant buck and the alpha wold meet at midfield for the coin toss and this hunt is about to get under way.'

'... 'Step2: Get a running start.' ... Oh, here we go! ... 'Step 3: Jump into the bobsled.''