Snowy Satire Seekers Gifts

'You should do something about your mid-drift bulge.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

The Frankenstein snowman.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'YAY! PATE!'

Snowman Driver

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

'And here's the toolkit.'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

"Well, hello there yourself!"

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

'Amy, cancel all my appointments. I have enough money.'

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

Life plan

'I'm sorry Donny...I can't get you any work. The studio says you're just too much of a stereotype.'

Witless protection prgram